A Poem

Below is the first draft of a poem. Please, if you have any critiques of it, do share.

~~ ~~ ~~

Sometimes, when the surf sounds,
and the whispers of Christ
brush quickly past my ear,
I think to stand
on the Vulcan-wrought stones
forming the precipice into the sea.

This is not shifting sand,
this is not the millennia-pounded
shell and stone that is pulled and pushed by the tide.

No, this is the rock of Peter,
a molten zealot turned fast to stone
by the baptismal fount of the Living Water.

This is the precipice,
the safe containment of land,
a cornerstone of a kingdom,
and as I stand looking out
upon the unending expanse
of the writhing sea, I,
even as the Spirit once did,
am invited to move across the waters.

Cephus?—you once walked
across the waters toward the Christ,
and as a Rock, began to sink.
I am afraid that if I step into God
I will drown and be no more.

Spirit, teach me to walk upon the waves
that I might go to Christ.
Spirit, teach me to swim
that when I sink, I may continue
in that same direction.


~ by jeorgesmith on 15 July 2007.

4 Responses to “A Poem”

  1. on my first readthrough– “endless wonderment” stood out as a little cheesy. I really like the general theme– and I think I’ll have more thoughts on a next read. Btw, thanks for your help on my poem on Sunday!

  2. How ’bout “unending expanse” instead of “endless wonderment”? slightly different nuance, but basic idea. the clause would thus read:

    and as I stand looking out
    upon the unending expanse
    of the writhing sea, …

  3. Ooo — I like “expanse” because its normally used for the sky, and that makes it interesting.

  4. i made it an official change

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