In protest and followup:

Some might remember my joy over the acquisition of a cyborg ear monkey. It was liberating: it let me talk, with both hands(!), while driving; it allowed me the privilege of acting PSYCHOTIC in a socially normative manner; and over all, it made (I’m told) blue lights flash fashionably on my ear. It even would sit comfortably using its prehensile tail.

The honeymoon, has, however warn off. Here’s the problem:

I am told (and by this I mean “I read in the manual”–yes, I was excited enough about my cyborg pet to read the manual) that there is a system of lighted indicators showing different stages of the ear monkey. I believe (being a trusting chap) that there are four of these colors: blue, purple, green, red. This belief, however has NO CORRELATIVE VALUE paired against my experience of the lighted indicators, which appear to be either teal or avocado. (You may notice that each of the colors in my ‘experiential reality’ can be classified within the larger umbrella of ‘green’.)

There is thus a disconnect between the (codified) reality and the (experienced) reality of the electronic simiiformes. A disconnect so grand that I’m not sure if mine is still alive or if my utter inability in the art of chromomancy has simply set him deep into a vegetative state.

In other news, our friend who gave us the wise words on marriage seems to have come under some unfortunate attention. Poor chap, and he obviously has so much to offer the world–just look at the legacy of over 170 children he has.

~ by jeorgesmith on 21 August 2008.

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